Hard is relative

by Veronica Foale on November 23, 2010

in Children, Family, Me

‘That must be so hard’ they say, when I talk about daily life for us. The meltdowns, the screaming, the sensory overloads.

It must be hard.

And I think about it and well, maybe it is a little. But hard is relative and what’s hard for you, isn’t hard for me. This is daily life and I’m drawing on a wealth of experience and it’s not so bad.

Hard for me, is death and grief.

Not life.

My body falls apart and we add yet another diagnosis to my long string of them. A diagnosis that is ‘broken’ when all is said and done.

Maybe this is a little bit hard.

Maybe not. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed right now.

I created life. I gestated it and felt my body swell under my hands. When the time came, I panted and strained and gave birth to life, to a small human being who may just grow up to rule the world. We don’t know yet, life is full of infinite possibility.

I am God for these lives I created and expelled out into the world, the lives that makes mine so infinitely complicated. If I gave birth to them, I know that I am strong enough to mother them and bring them to adulthood.

This is not hard. This is a privilege.

Marylin November 23, 2010 at 9:35 am

Oh I so know where you’re coming from sweety. Hard is definitely relative. Your hard and my hard are similar in some ways, but oh so different in others. That doesn’t mean either of us cope better or worse than the other. We do what we have to. We keep putting one foot in front of the other, hold our heads high, and look for those silver linings. What else can we do?

Marita November 23, 2010 at 9:37 am

Oh so beautifully put.

Glen November 23, 2010 at 9:47 am

it is a privilege you are right.

a hard privilege.

Watershedd November 23, 2010 at 9:54 am

Very relative indeed. There’s a saying that God doesn’t give us anything we cannot handle. Perhaps that’s why you have your life and we all have ours.

Wanderlust November 23, 2010 at 12:17 pm

This is beautiful. Just beautiful. xx

Mistress B November 23, 2010 at 1:48 pm

Hard is different for each of us. Beautifully said hon

Pink Ronnie November 23, 2010 at 2:58 pm

I wholeheartedly agree.

No matter how exhausting my husband and I find parenting, grieving for our firstborn was a million times harder.

Jennifer November 27, 2010 at 4:27 am

You are so, so right about this.

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