The same old song

by Veronica Foale on January 10, 2018

in Uncategorized

I have almost forgotten how to do this. Sit down at the computer and bleed from your fingertips.

I read through my archives (briefly) and I’ve been singing this same song for three years now. Exhaustion, kids, business, soap, work. Mental health (up and down) physical health (down and up). Round and round we go, with the chorus playing the same melody over and over.

We’ve got foster kittens, and kittens of our own. My work room and desk are full of broken soap display ladders. There is music playing to drown out the sound of school holidays, which sounds remarkably like TV and whining. One child is sick in bed, and when I tried to read a book earlier the dog vomited everywhere, which is pretty much how my days go now.

Who has time to be introspective and bleed bleed bleed all over the screen.

But oh my soul hurts. I’m like an old ballerina, sadly telling everyone she used to be beautiful, used to be amazing.

I used to be amazing.

I used to write and drip emotion and now I’m hiding in the cracks as all around me the chaos reigns and I try to remember how to pick this back up again.

 

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