My reader is full of resolutions and revolutions. Bloggers promising things, swearing on pain of reduced readerships to try harder, to be better, to do something huge. Promises that are larger than themselves, a mix of introspection and extroversion. This process of pushing outwards while we look inwards.
It feels a bit dirty, like smearing my soul on a screen while people clap and cheer.
Still. That’s okay. I like a bit of dirt.
2012 felt like the second movie from The Lord Of The Rings. An awful lot of walking, exhaustion, a few battles, and a lot of time whereupon nothing was happening. For me, this was the hardest pill to swallow. I do not like nothing. Nothing is a grey entity, torn and tangled, a wispy wraith of a thing that haunts me and makes it hard to settle. Nothing is not what I wanted to be doing, but there you go. You can’t choose how your year will go.
I can feel the anticipation, sitting here. 2013 hangs just around the corner, bright with possibility and hope. I’m sure that I’ll tarnish it up shortly and knock some of the shine out of it without any effort, but the muffled hope continues, even knowing that in another twelve months it will be but a shadow of itself, waiting to be wished goodbye.
Poor Twentytwelve. It promised so many things and delivered on so few of them. No Mayan Apocalypse for starters. I can’t help but feel a little cheated there. We’d been waiting so long and then … nothing.
And thus the year ends, not with a bang, but with a whimper. Twentytwelve sits on the cliff, watching the waves break and waiting for night to fall so that we can serenade her out to sea with fireworks; the tones of a drunkenly sung Auld Lang Syne drifting around her ears.
Bloodied, but not defeated, we’ve dragged ourselves to the end of this year with nothing more than fingernails and teeth. Together we’ll stand on the cliff, raise a glass to the end of Twentytwelve and welcome in Twentythirteen, with all her gloss and glamour.
Happy New Year Internet. May your heart be full and your trouble jar empty.
If I haven’t mentioned it before, I adore how you write V. Adore.
My hope for you is that 2013 brings answers, action, toilet training (lol cos you know I’m in that boat with you :)) and most of all so much love and peace and happiness.
2012 can gagf with its false promises.
Much love my friend.
Never before have I been so happy to see the back of any particular year.
All the best for 2013 Veronica.
I was dragged into 2012 nearly senseless, not knowing what it would hold for me. I am leaving it with a growl determined that, whilst this is just the turning of another day arbitrarily marked as ‘special’ by a human system that fails on so many levels and in so many ways, I will cherish the unexpected silver linings in what we mark as a new beginning move closely and remember that I always have a choice about how I respond to any given situation. My wish for you, yours and many others out there who all seem to all agree that whilst 2012 may have been the year we had to have, it does not have to be forever! Happy New Year, Veronica and family. X
Vwhat a beautiful line “Happy New Year Internet. May your heart be full and your trouble jar empty.”
2012 has been a great one for me. Nothing promised but everything delivered.
I’m sorry it’s been a trying year for you – I hope 2013 is an improvement.
Ps – so glad Evelyn rolled over 🙂
I am firmly deciding (or believing) that TwentyThirteen will be a better year. It has to be. Right?
(who wants to take bets on how long that lasts…? Anyone? I’m gonna say by the weekend. Maybe the end of the month if I’m *really* lucky!) 😉
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