On the Internet, every day, thousands of anonymous comments are left. Trolls and pseudonyms, all mixed up in a giant stew of anonymity, hiding behind a false name and a false face.
Sometimes, one of those comments is left on a blog of mine and oooof, goes the wind out of my sails, because accusatory comments are unpleasant, at best. Usually, anons cover their tracks well enough, but sometimes, an IP address is left unblocked and there is a virtual paper trail left to follow.
This is what happened to me a little while ago. I followed a virtual paper trail and found my anonymous commenter in a place where they really weren’t anonymous at all. I screenshotted the evidence and spent three days, riding the high of “I worked out who you are” before crashing back down to earth because, “I worked out who you are”.
It’s never nice discovering who dislikes you enough to say unpleasant things, hiding behind an assumed name and a veil of pseudo-anonymity.
**
I’m a nice person. I’m kind to animals, I smile at strangers. I offer to help people when they drop the contents of their purse on the supermarket floor and I will willingly give support to someone who needs it.
I genuinely like people. I like hearing your stories and listening to your experiences.
I am a good person.
I also tell the truth, stand up for myself when I think things are unfair and refuse to stay silent if I think something is a problem.
Being kind and being strong, these are not mutually exclusive things – however, being truthful on the Internet, being strong and standing up and saying there is a problem – this is not what people want you to do.
No, it seems that people want happy happy joy joy and silently whispered conversations. They don’t want to know what I truly think.
Taylor Mali said: I implore you. I entreat you. I challenge you. To speak with conviction. To say what you believe in, in a manner that bespeaks the determination with which you believe it.
Those words have stuck with me. I have the courage to own my own convictions. To stand behind my words and to say what I feel, when I feel it.
And I would like to not be ostracised for daring to have an opinion.
Because from where I stand, that’s what it feels like.
I say speak up, speak loud enough to be heard and as long as you believe what you are saying is right and just…then do it xxx
By the way I’m using your quote as my status, hope you dont mind lol
It’s a very good quote. The vimeo link has the entire piece spoken – it’s only about 2mins long and it’s bloody good.
You inspire me to use my voice. Don’t stop. You aren’t alone!
It’s really heartening to know I’m not alone. Thank you.
awesome quote… and I have to say that while I may not agree with everything people say (both online and ‘in real life’) I admire those who say what they believe, what they feel is right, and stand up for themselves in an honest and respectful way. I have always admired you for those traits.
I really love the quote. I don’t agree with all of the people, all of the time either – but I also don’t stop talking to someone, just because I disagree with them over something they believe.
And thank you. x
Wow! I read your blog for exactly these reasons! Because I know you speak your convictions boldly, whether the minority or not. It’s refreshing to know that someone will be truthfully outspoken and give the reasons why that is your opinion, and yes, at times to be challenged regarding my own opinions on a matter I never would’ve thought twice about before. So I say thanks! Thanks for speaking your mind whether it risks being criticized or not, thanks for being real!
It’s really nice to know that you read because of my opinions, not in spite of them. Thank you!
Try not to take the words of unworthy cowards to heart too much. And please do, always, speak your mind 🙂
It wasn’t their words that I took to heart (frankly, they were ridiculous words) but the fact that someone thought they had to hide behind an anon account to say them. And that I then worked out who they are, and had a bunch of people stop talking to me.
Yes, I can understand not wanting to give out details in a public forum, opening yourself up to a bunch of strangers, many of them not very pleasant – but you should definitely have the decency to only say to someone anonymously what you would be prepared to say to their face. Good for you for unmasking them, bet that gave them a scare. Hope they learn something from it (though the cynic in me says they may only learn to better cover their tracks!).
Oh, and all the strangers on here do seem very nice, btw, just in general I mean, obviously!
99.999% of the time, my commenters and readers are fantastic.
It’s funny people encourage us to speak our minds but as soon as we do, there’s always someone to cut us down and usually just because they disagree.
Meh. You are brilliant and anyone silly enough to leave you a troll-y anonymous comment does not deserve a millisecond of your time. Do not let them get to you. This is your space. If they don’t like it they can leave.
That is it exactly. Tall poppy syndrome, maybe? (I’m not a very good poppy) Or just people not liking having the status quo questioned.
x
There is a fine line between standing up for yourself and choosing your battles. Sometimes it is hard to just “let it be” and it can be therapeutic to “let it out”.
There are far more of us who support you, than those who choose to insult you. And I agree, hiding behind a pseudonym, thinking you’re being “funny”, but really just being bitchy, is cowardly.
thank you Dorothy
Well said Dorothy.
Thank you.
Sometimes I let things lie and other times I stand up for myself. It usually depends on whether I wake up at 2am with things bothering me or not! If they’re bothering me, I figure they’re better out of my head and discussed, rather than not.
Love you
xxxxxx
You’re pretty amazing too, you know. x
no. broken
I think I preferred it when the trolls were trolls. Unknown, nameless, and much easier to hate or whatever.
The hunt for the identity of the anonymous commenter is fun, but when the curtain is pulled back… *gasp!* oh! it’s you, I KNOW you.. but why?
and then the feeling of wanting to just put that curtain back where it was…
Well said Toushka.
I probably could have tracked down my recent trolly troll to an extent, but in the end decided not to. If it is someone in my ‘real’ life I really do not want to know 🙁
I’ve had two trolls from IRL and both times, it was unpleasant knowing who they were. It’s easier to think that someone dislikes you, or vehemently disagrees with you if you don’t have to smile at them over a BBQ a week later and pretend like it’s all okay.
Yes, there is that righteous grumpiness that gets you through the initial stages and then it’s all “Oh, it’s you” and then you have to live with that.
I wonder why people have to say anything at all if they can’t be pleasant.
I have huge respect for you for speaking your mind on things that matter to you, your family and the world.
Who knows? And thank you. x
Never ever let the cowards who refuse to stand by their own opinions stop you from expressing yours. A short while ago I had an Anon commenter tear me to shreds, and it was almost enough to make me stop writing altogether. But that was letting those in the wrong win. Which to people of conviction and principles just isnt going to to happen, eh Veronica? 😉
You keep your voice and you use it girl. It’s the only one you’ve got. xx
Very well said!
And I am sorry about your anon commenter. They’re not really pleasant, are they?
I know nothing about what happened but it sounds very unpleasant for you.
The world needs people willing to speak out and speak their mind boldly, not everybody has to agree but some cowardly cannot admit why they think differently and have to hide to tell you why their view is superior .
Exactly.
I’ve had very fer nasty comments, but when I do it can really throw me, so my sympathies on that.
I do want you to know that I enjoy reading this blog more than I enjoy your more “formal” one…largely because I always feel like this one is a very unfiltered insight into who you are. I come hear because I WANT to hear your opinions. I don’t need to like them or not (or even understand the context or the details), I just like to read thoughts from an intelligent and well-spoken person with a good heart.
I’ve had very *few nasty comments…
not sure how fer gets past my spell-check, that’s not typical American usage.
I imagine it is way worse when you find out who is making the anonymous comments and they are not so anonymous after all. It is hard to ignore them but you just have to do that. Because it says more about them than you. Be as authentic as you can and you have nothing to apologise for. They on the other hand….
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