Jaded.
I am jaded.
Blogging has changed so quickly that I am left behind, wondering how to swim in this shark tank. When did blogging become about PR deals and not the writing?
Maybe I’m just a bitch.You kids get off my goddamned lawn.
I want more from this. I want my writing to be brilliant. I want fans, across the globe. I want time to write a book, to lose myself in my own fantasy. I want to connect with like-minded people and find more brilliant blogs. To be entrapped in a blog’s story from the moment I start.
I want more.
***
Something happens. Something good, for me, and I float on the happening for weeks. I adore it and then it ends and I am forced back into reality with the screams of my children ringing in my ears.
This is the come down. I knew it was coming, but my head being all fucked up has surprised even me. I want to hibernate, to pull the blankets over my head and refuse to leave my own head.
Unfortunately, this is not how reality works.
***
I want to be bigger than myself.
I want you to want more.
I want my words to flow out of my fingertips and onto the screen with ease. I’m sick of pulling words the way dentists pull teeth.
I want my dissatisfaction to fade away.
I want a lot of things.
***
Tell me, who do you read when you’re feeling dissatisfied? What do you do?
Because whatever I’m doing isn’t working so well.
I lose myself in fantasy novels when the world is being too hard, currently exploring Tad Williams works.
I would be losing myself in Robin Hobb, but SOMEONE (Mum) hasn’t given my books back yet. Ahem.
I like books for losing myself in. Especially because while the kids are young, I may not have time to create my own fantasy and write it down, but I can definitely borrow someone else’s world.
I’m hoping to add Robin Hobb to my Kindle books soon and re read them all 🙂
What Tad Williams are you reading? I loved the Otherland (?) series. Unfortunately someone borrowed the last book and never returned it, but I do have the other 3 books.
The series is ‘Memory, Sorrow and Thorn’ it has really sucked me in.
I will put them in the car now. David had them. they are getting a bit tatty. On second thoughts I might have to read them again before I give them back to you. I will introduce you to Stephen Donaldson instead.
Grumble grumble. I need to contact their covers before we read them again I think.
I like Stephen Donaldson… wonder which book box they are in….
I know just how you feel.
I try not to be jaded… it just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, but sometimes it’s hard.
As for escaping? I lose myself in the darkness of Heathcliff and Cathy. Every. Single. Time.
Is that Wuthering Heights ? I’m planning to read it for the first time once I finish the Tad Williams series I’m reading
I haven’t read Wuthering Heights yet. I should. Add it to my list!
Reading, reading, reading at the moment. If I can leave the house, I exercise, energizes me physically and mentally.
Thank goodness Kinder starts this week so I can find myself, my mojo and my bloggy friends again 🙂
Kinder doesn’t start here until the 16th of Feb. It’s going to be interesting!
Yes.
Just yes.
I understand.
Completely.
Xx
Thankyou 🙂
I read whatever I can find. John Irving is a good lose myself in a not so fantasy type but if it is fantasy I at this point in time resort to the many many YA books I have as they are easy to read quickly as in I just read 8 books(a series) in a little under a week, and I find when I have a hard time writing reading something easy yet still entertaining is the best way to get me back into the grove of writing my own books.
I haven’t read any of John Irving’s stuff, which title do you recommend?
My favorite by him is The World According to Garp, but Ciderhouse Rules is also very good. I like all his books that I’ve read though have not been able to read them all yet. Fourth Hand is good, as well as A Prayer for Owen Meany, those are what I have been able to read so far.
Thanks, I’ll look them up!
As for blogs, I read Ordinary Art when I need really good writing. http://www.ordinaryartblog.com/
Indie Ink finds some amazing writers.
http://indieink.org/
AAYSR chews people up for fun. That usually makes me feel better.
http://iwillfuckingtearyouapart.blogspot.com/
Or else I write my own story.
I love both Kelly’s blog and Ask.
For books in which you lose yourself…
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society by Shaffer & Barrows
http://www.thelibrarian.perilouslyprecocious.com/the-guernsey-literary-and-potato-peel-society-by-mary-ann-shaffer-and-annie-barrows
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
http://www.thelibrarian.perilouslyprecocious.com/the-red-tent-by-anita-diamant
The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson
http://www.thelibrarian.perilouslyprecocious.com/the-gargoyle-by-andrew-davidson
Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley
http://www.thelibrarian.perilouslyprecocious.com/mists-of-avalon-by-marion-zimmer-bradley
Helen of Troy by Margaret George
http://www.thelibrarian.perilouslyprecocious.com/helen-of-troy-by-margaret-george
You are awesome. Sorry you landed in spam.
The Red Tent is in my bookshelf already, I loved it. The same with Mists of Avalon – although I haven’t read anything by Marion Zimmer Bradley that I didn’t lose myself in. Have you read Firebrand?
The others, I’ll hunt down.
I’m jaded too. I have been for a while but not sure what to do about it.
I find inspiration in books too (my absolute must read is ‘a confederacy of dunces’ by John kenedy otoole) and music, of course. But the way I figure it is that there are going to be ups and downs with anything and you just have to weather it out. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway.
Me either. Like you, I keep telling myself if I can just get through it, coming out the other side will be shinier and better. Maybe.
In reality, who knows? I’m certainly not going to stop blogging, my brain would explode without the writing, but I may just complain more about certain trends.
Georgette Heyer.
I lose myself in the world of High Society, ignoring all the injustices of the era that are subtly highlighted and simply enjoy the characters.
Ignore all the PR stuff and just write what you want to write! It’s your expression, your art, your thoughts here. 🙂
High Society sounds like fun!, hehe.
And thanks.
I’ve been feeling jaded for a while. Then I have to remind myself that I started writing for ME, so I should keep writing for ME. It is good therapy, even when noone visits and comments. When did it become about getting “traffic” rather than good writing?
I don’t read as much as I used to. When I do it seems to be other blogs. In books, I’m over my fantasy phase and am currently going through Marian Keys and Maeve Binchy books. They make the world seem OK again….
I have a few book suggestions. Books I recently read and loved include Indelible Ink by Fiona McGregor and The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen. Currently making my way through Sixty Nine by Ryu Murakami (after getting totally fed up with the other Murakami) and Battle Royale by some other Japanese author. Going to attempt Campaign Ruby by Jessica Rudd on the recommendation of a home library patron, sounds a bit fluffy but I’ll give it a shot.
I think being jaded at some point is inevitable with blog world. I keep thinking that I want to write but when it comes to the actual writing, I freeze up. Hopefully this passes soon for you.
Hi there, sorry you are feeling jaded. Hang in there, your writing is for you and us, not the PR guys. Lots of love from one of your fans on the other side of the globe!
-Anne Marie
I lose myself in my mind. I have the most marvelous fantasy life and really believe that anything is possible. So no matter how crappy my life is — and right now it is seriusly crappy — I always believe great things are right around the corner.
I don’t get the PR thing. You know, I’ve never made a dime off my blog. I got the sponsorship to come to Sydney, which was amazing to me, but I’ve never done a single sponsored post. I’ve never been approached for one. I think I’m off the radar of American PR people because my audience is mostly Australian, but since I’m not in Australia, I don’t qualify for Nuffnang or anything like that.
I think you should just keep writing, even if it doesn’t really flow. And read whatever appeals to you, whatever you find that is written from the heart. And don’t give up on your dreams. Write throuogh the jadedness and frustration until you hit something else. x
Hmm, if I’m feeling crappy I will log onto WoW if I can. It’s a whole other ‘world’ to escape into. Know what I mean? *hugs*
I don’t have an escape. I just keep trudging on! Occassionally I will read a book but there seem to be too many other things to do. Ho hum.
Right now, I am soooooo over writing, having finally submitted the final manuscript for my textbook. That said, I still want to write creatively (rather than technically), but just now, the odd bit of poetry is all that comes.
For me, the break is exercise (which is now happening again – woo-hoo) and music. I do love the Robin Hobb stuff and I need to get the second in the Soldier Son Trilogy. I bought Shaman’s Crossing early last year as a diversion from the book writing and the Indigenous issues I was learning with the GOFA … and promptly found it was about colonisation and dispossession! Agh! Dante became a much more appealing option for a while!
Hey, did you know Robin Hobb is coming to Australia in April? See http://www.meganlindholm.com/2011/01/27/books-and-visits-for-2011/
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