This June

This June,

I would like to come out the other side intact.

I would like to manage to stave off my broken-ness.

I would like to come through whole and okay.

Because,

last June

I didn’t.

And I can’t fathom doing that again.

Last June,

I ended up broken

and tired

and sad.

Last June,

was like being hit by a train

repeatedly.

And some things haven’t healed,

and some people haven’t been forgiven.

And they won’t.

Because

wow

that was low.

and I’m broken,

because I can’t scream the words at you I want to

and because I can’t talk about it any more.

So this June,

I want to come through whole.

I don’t want to feel kicked when I am down,

or strung tightly like a bow string,

choking on what I want to say,

but am too polite to.

This June,

I want to be okay.

And I want to tell you,

to go fuck yourself.

You’re not a nice human being.

And it’s your fault I can’t cry and it’s your fault I can’t talk anymore.

Because I want to tell you.

And I can’t,

because you don’t need to hear it.

Because being kicked when you’re down isn’t fun.

And aren’t you glad I’m not like you.

Comments

14 responses to “This June”

  1. Brenda Avatar

    Here’s hoping that June would play very nice with you.XO

  2. kim(frogpondsrock) Avatar

    “You’re not a nice human being.”

    Now isn’t that the understatement of the century.

    I love you sweetheart, you were the apple of your Grandmother’s eye. Mum loved you so much and she was so incredibly proud of you. It has been a hard two years pumpkin and there will be light at the end of this tunnel eventually. I think putting voice to your hurt can only be a good thing for you my darling girl.

    xxx

    and “they” can go fuck themselves.

  3. Watershedd Avatar

    Great poem. Whatever happened, it left an deep and indelible mark that this suggests may never completely heal. I know the pit that leads to the place that gives such emotions. Hope this June is indeed, peaceful.

  4. Mary Avatar
    Mary

    Hi Veronica
    That’s a powerful poem with pain & anger still evident.
    Was it liberating to write it? Hope it brought some release.
    Looking forward to meeting up on Thursday ~

  5. Marylin Avatar

    I hope that writing this out has helped sweety, I know it does for me. *hugs* xx

  6. Barbara Avatar

    Fingers crossed for you that this June is kind. xxx

  7. Kristin Avatar

    Having a big heart means not only that you have the compassion to hold your tongue where others may not, but that you feel the pain a little more deeply when they don’t. Wishing you a peaceful June. xo

  8. Glen Avatar

    yoinks! the power at your fingertips !

  9. river Avatar
    river

    I’m wishing you a more peaceful June too.

  10. Tracey Avatar
    Tracey

    Fuck ’em, sweetheart.

  11. Hear Mum Roar Avatar

    Come on, you can do it! Practise on me. Tell me to go fuck myself:P

  12. EmmaK Avatar

    Hope you have a wonderful, refreshing, energizing June. Hugs Emma

  13. […] I failed to protect my daughter from my brother and in his pain he lashed out bitterly at my girl and wounded her deeply. […]

  14. Mick Rossendell Avatar
    Mick Rossendell

    I’m Sorry, I truely am