Something happens and I stand up, walk away from my computer and stab myself in the eye. Falling forwards, I lay in a pool of blood and wonder if this is less painful that what I’ve just witnessed.
Wait.
Rewind.
Something happens and I stand up and walk away from my computer.
That’s where this story ends.
***
Notice me! Notice me!
We all shout it.
This is the InterWebs and we’re all crying to be noticed, while hiding in our corners, under a blanket. We’re a giant flock of male robins, trying to impress a future mate. We dance and we sing and we flap and somewhere, another bird watches and wonders what the fuck?
Screeching to be noticed, hoping that we’ll find an audience.
It’s sort of interesting.
***
If you scorn a label, only to be noticed and slapped with that label, do you tear it off and walk away?
Or do you preen, happy to have been noticed in the first place.
Which is more important, being noticed? Or your truth.
***
This is my truth:
I steal time away from life in order to write.
Or is it –
I steal time away from writing, in order to live.
I’m not so sure anymore. Everything is tied up in my imagination, in my could’s and possibly’s and maybe’s that I forget that I’m still sitting in front of my computer watching a cursor blink on an empty page.
Blink.
Blink.
Blink.
My toddler laughs and while I watch, a bird flies – THWAP – into the window.
That is my truth.
***
How long until we hit the glass in here and come up short; left stunned and lying flat on our back.
What on earth hit me?
What on earth did I hit?
***
Blink.
Blink.
Blink.
<3
Echoing my thoughts exactly.
I fear I am no longer part of the flock.
Stands up and applauds. Sometimes my darling girl, you take my breath away.
Tiff, I’m starting to think that being part of the flock isn’t what we should be aiming for, so much as our own little safe corner.
Fiona 🙂
Frogponds 🙂 Aren’t I glad you hassled me about my grammar and spelling so much now? Even though I hated it.
Brilliant as always!!!
And FTR, I hate the spotlight. Mwahahaha.
Totally.
Your writing is awesome. <3 x
Maybe we should just write to live? Isn’t that why we write? If we get noticed, we get noticed. Meh. We forget sometimes that is not what it’s about. Silly us.
I especially liked the bird and the thwap. Last time I remember that happening to me, it was an alsation (running, not flying).
Beautiful post, Veronica. As always.
I like to think of my writing as being part of – and not separate – to my real life. But it’s hard not to feel like you’re sneaking off to be with your secret lover sometimes.
As for being a ‘popularity whore’ (as I call it), we all want validation, I guess. An audience that responds and encourages us. Blogging is a curious thing in that it is more about engaging with your audience than more traditional mediums. A post’s success is gauged by the number of comments or hits. I used to crave the thousands and thousands of comments and hits afforded other blogs but then I realised I would have to write completely differently to get that. Now I just suit myself and know that the few who read me (mostly) appreciate my work.
Just as I appreciate yours. Thanks, Veronica!
Great Blog! And so true! My 7yo says to me ‘ is it your blogtime mum?’ hehe
I guess we all crave that audience, comment, page view – its so addictive!
This is my truth:
I steal time away from life in order to write.
Or is it –
I steal time away from writing, in order to live.
So well put. That’s how it is for me too
Oh, I have a few tales to tell from several recent (some very recent) experiences. *sigh*
(p.s I’ve read this before, just been a tad slow to comment. I apologise!)
This is a lovely piece of writing… I popped over from Planning Queen and I’m so glad I did. Can’t stop thinking about it.
Excellent blog!
Very thougth provocating, I am not sure I want to be noticed at the moment!
Mich x
The reason I blog, instead of writing in my journals, is because I want to share my experience and yes, to be noticed. Sometimes I feel like I don’t exist, like nobody sees me, and not just in the interwebz. It’s been a story of my life. Only recently and very slowly I am learning to accept that just being is enough.
And being noticed I get to meet people like you and all my other hero bloggers.
Flocks are over-rated. It’s too easy to accidentally get pooped on. 🙂
Flocks are over-rated. It’s too easy to accidentally get pooped on. 🙂
“If you scorn a label, only to be noticed and slapped with that label, do you tear it off and walk away?
Or do you preen, happy to have been noticed in the first place.
Which is more important, being noticed? Or your truth.”
Truth, always truth. But as I’ve said & written about before, my truth may not be yours. Perception is a such a kaleidoscope. Change the position and filters of the participants and the view, the truth, changes.
Sorry to be so long reading this. Was away when it went up for the much deserved and needed break then into the new job. Just getting back to normal. X
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