Screeching your displeasure, you throw yourself at my lap. I enfold you in my arms and watch as you sprawl across me, all careless limbs and wide eyes. You’ve gotten so big, so fast and I wonder where the time has gone. How did you go from what you were to what you are?
You were born in a rush, a hasty exit that we weren’t expecting. I put my hands down and caught you myself, bringing you up to my chest. You screwed up your face and screamed at the indignity of it all, being thrust from your haven of warmth into a world of nakedness and cold, of bright lights and voices unmuffled by amniotic fluid. I held you close and whispered to you. They clamped your cord and I cut it myself, making us two separate beings, no longer one person in two bodies. I had held you within my body for nine long months, now it was time to hold you without.
I watch you now, crawling across the carpet, racing away from me as I struggle to dress you; change you; inflict my will upon you. You have your own wants and they don’t always mesh with mine. I want you to be warm and comfortable, I want you to be happy. You want to be left alone, to not be poked, prodded and removed from the electrical outlets.
You pull yourself to standing and look at me, pleased with yourself. Clapping, I tell you how clever you are and we move on from there, your increased mobility helping to leave the traces of baby behind.
Of an evening, I snuggle you into my breast and feed you, the curve of your head matching the curve of my exposed skin. You wiggle around, contorting yourself into new positions without my help, getting yourself comfortable before sighing and falling asleep, my nipple still in your mouth.
I savour these moments, knowing that you’re growing up faster than I ever imagined.
They grow up so fast. It’s scary sometimes. Wish they’d stay little forever but then I think Nah… I want some sleep. Tehehe…
ps. I’ve already said this on your other blog before but Isaac’s cheeks …nom.nom.nom
they grow up to damn fast..
caisey is crawling and standing now..
are Amy and Issac playing yet?
beautiful.
This is exactly how I feel with Emily.
and when you see a newborn you think, was my baby ever that tiny?
Mine 17 & 19 now – it never goes the wanting to save them from the world feeling. True love..
Aww sweety, what a wonderful post. You never forget how tiny they used to be do ya? I can’t believe my big balshy 4 yr old used to fit in the crook of my arm!
Also… STOP MAKING ME BROODY!!
I know. I am going through a little tiny baby nostalgia at the moment also! Darcy is walking now and very pleased with himself indeed. He seemed to be 4 months old for ages and now the time has flown! Would love to see a “grown up” Isaac soon. Tracey x
What a beautiful post, one that you will look back on fondly! That’s quite the birth story too, was it your first baby? I’m so floored that you caught bubs yourself – WOW. Anyway, I’m glad I found your blog via Magnetoboldtoo.
Stop it.
Stop making me want another baby. Seriously, knock it off! I want to be able to see something resembling toned thighs before I get knocked up again, so stop posting all these wonderful giving birth stories. Post more about chewed-on nipples. That helps.
“I want you to be warm and comfortable, I want you to be happy. You want to be left alone, to not be poked, prodded and removed from the electrical outlets.” <— I laughed so hard at that bit of writing that I called The Bean out of kitchen to read him that comment.
I shed a tear reading this. So beautifully told. I have no idea where the time goes.
I remember those first few moments so well with my daughter, and I look forward to doing it again.
beautiful
Your comment about your cat on that other idiot’s blog is DISGUSTING AND YOU ARE IGNORANT. Cats DO NOT kill babies, you are stupid and cannot believe you hit another creature. I hope you and/or your children get the same treatment from those in power over you. Disgusting.
Oh, wow…. Is the comment up above me for real, or a joke?
You know what? Forget it… I just reread what Tori wrote… and it got me thinking.
I think Tori just inspired me to go kick a cat.
SCREEEEECH!
Woohoo! That felt great!
SCREEEEEEECH!
Yeeeeaaah! C’mon, Veronica! It’s fun! Try it! Kick a baby killer!
You know Veronica, you defend people who use their children, their husbands and their neighbors as blog fodder and then you defend people who kill their family pets without a LEGIT reason. You strike me as one of those people who goes looking for controversy and then chooses to be contrary to in order to draw attention to yourself. Well, I suppose you are getting what you asked for.
And just so you understand, cats do NOT suck the breath out of sleeping babies. If you ALLOWED your cat to go into your babies room while she was sleeping, you should have realized that the cat might decide to try to snuggle up with the baby, like it would a child or an adult. If you didn’t want to take a chance of that happening, you should have done something RESPONSIBLE in order to prevent it. I have NEVER heard of a cat smothering a baby, but since you obviously have, you should have closed your babies door when she was sleeping, or locked the cat up when you didn’t want it in the babies room. It is all about responsible parenting AND responsible pet ownership.
Well since you lived in a house without doors, I suppose it should be absolutely fine that you euthanized your cat for entering the babies room! Excuse me for misunderstanding! I should have known…I suppose you didn’t have doors on the bathrooms, either?
Kate – The bathroom did have a door, but as it was just my partner and I + the baby living there, we rarely used it.
Oh and yes, I will defend people who are accused of ‘killing an animal for no reason’ when she did have a reason and the animal was humanely euthanised. Your reasons may differ to hers, but she did have a reason.
And I defended Sandi because I felt you were being unfair on her. She blogs about what she is comfortable blogging about. If that doesn’t sit well with you, don’t read it.
And finally? I know damn well cats don’t suck the breath from babies. That is an old wives tale. What they DO do, is snuggle up to the baby, leaving the baby with a mouthful of fur and no room to breath. Or, they snuggle on the baby’s chest, leaving the baby unable to breathe in due to the weight.
wow, Tori strikes me as a really dumb person to hope that something nasty will happen to you, and your children because of an already dead cat.
Mega double wow, Kate you seem to take the cake on dumb with a little stupid chucked in. To even think of a cat’s welfare over a child’s no matter what the circumstance is just, well, dumb and completely stupid.
Wow, I can almost see the idiotic trolls hunched over their computers reading all your blogs looking for something to use as ammo against you. Totally ridiculous. I don’t think they know what kind of territory they just entered (ie: one with trenches full of backup).
The real concern in your case was smothering. A Justified concern might I say – because, hello, anything near a babies face is dangerous, cat, blanket, soft toy, anything!
I love cats a lot. I don’t like to see them killed unnecessarily but I’m not going to go apeshit because someone else did something that I may not have done. God complex much?
God, get over yourselves ladies (Tori, Kate ET AL).
I adore you for standing up for yourself Veronica.
Sharnee, I agree with everything you’ve just said! Tori and Kate need to get over themselves and reevaluate what’s truly important. A child’s life, or a cat’s… hmmm, let me think… it’s such a hard decision… Oh, wait. It’s *not*.
Time certainly does fly doesn’t it? My grand daughter was born just last week it seems. Next month she will be 16.
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