Three grey elephants balancing, step by step on a piece of string…
She sings as she walks along the back of the futon. Look Mummy! I am balancing! Like an elephant!
Everything she says ends with an exclamation mark and she takes a few more steps before slipping and hitting her head. Tears leak on my shoulder as I hug her. Maybe you should stop balancing. For now.
Yes. I should.
Her exclamation marks stolen by a slip.
***
A frost filled morning gives way to a sunny day and the wind slices through me like a knife. I check chooks and count duck eggs. I walk across the paddock, frozen grass crunching under my feet. Behind me, a trail of poultry runs, a steady thump thump thump of webbed feet, hoping that I’ll magically produce some wheat.
Only I’ve forgotten to bring it.
I disappear inside and the ducks stand forlornly at the gate, waiting for my return.
***
I feel like a grey elephant, walking along a wire.
Every time I call for another elephant to join me, I slip a little closer to the ground, a tiny bit closer to falling.
I’m not sure what’s down there anymore.
Grief and pain and anger.
I think.
A giant hole where my insides used to be opens up and wind whistles through me like a tunnel.
That song is stuck in my head now.
Perhaps we are your fellow gray elephants, walking along beside you in cyberspace. We may not always keep you from falling but we’ll be here to wipe the tears away.
Read it as Gay elephants. And was hoping for a tale of cluster reduction.
*hugs*
You need to go outside and bare your soul to the full moon. Scream your anguish into the night sky. Or come here and we can dance together in the next thunderstorm.
thinking of you hun
big hugs to you
Comments on this entry are closed.
{ 1 trackback }