The silence is as beautiful as it is rare. After the noise of the day, to be left with only the sound of my fingers tapping on the keyboard is balm for my soul. It doesn’t happen often, this time and space of being the only one awake. It makes me cherish it all the more.
***
My reading pile grows higher.
How long since I last curled up with a book and just read?
I don’t know.
How long until I can find the time to do it again without feeling guilty that I’m ‘doing nothing’?
I don’t know.
***
You checking enails Mum? Mum, you checking enails?
Yes sweetheart. I’m checking emails.
Oh. I come check enails with you, okay?
Okay.
She sighs contentedly into my chest and watches my computer screen. I can’t type anymore, so I click away. Closing my laptop I snuggle her tightly, breathing in her smell.
The moment is shattered as she pinches my arm and darts away laughing. In trouble, but not caring.
Three more days of this. I might lose my mind.
***
I take a deep breathe and step out into the chaos. The world spins around me, tugging at my hair. I stand in the middle, torn in all directions. I wade through the noise, sprites tugging at my feet demanding attention. I step on them and keep walking, pretending I don’t feel their fingernails against my ankles. They die a slow death, trodden on and cast to the chaos.
I find an anchor line and tie myself to it. From here, I can weather the storm.
From here, I can survive.
I see myself in you.
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